You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals...

I've been kinda agitated the last few days.

My residency applications went out on the first, and I've got nothing by rejections so far. Even my own hospital hasn't extended me a courtesy interview. The thought of not securing a residency a second year in a row makes me feel kinda panicked... makes me want to drink...

My phone has been on the fritz since I got back from camping. It's not charging properly and its dying within three hours... I've had it plugged in all day, and it never charged further than 40%. I stopped by the Verizon store to get it checked it out and they told me that they would have to test it for at least 2-4 hours which I just don't have time for today. Thennn... after I got home, I realized that I left the $40 charger that I just bought two weeks ago there. <smacks forehead>

I've been having a hard time concentrating at work... as much as I actually like doing the research, it's just the last place I want to be lately. The IRB office is being a royal nit-picky pain in my ass and since we've lost the medical student cavalry, we're having to do all the data mining for our thousands of patients ourselves... which makes me fall asleep, want to gouge my eyes out... and drink.

I'm getting antsy about starting the egg donation process. I'm already fudging the dates a little about the last shot of depo, but the recipients want to start the cycle in November so that they can retrieve the eggs in December, but before I can start, I need to get all the proper blood work and hormone testing done. Problem is, I haven't even gotten my period back yet.

I'm trying really hard to not revert back to leading E (and myself, for that matter) on... I'm not ready for a serious commitment, but I confess... I've been in need of company...  I've cut off K because he's started irritating me again, I just found out that my Jewish boy got herpes and is also having sex with other men (greeeaaattt... no), J is fun but just too far away in Bklyn... but all I want to do is shake off this funk I've been in with a nice dinner, lots of wine, and lots and lots of rough angry animal sex... and then more wine.

My room is a disaster. I have no floor anymore, just a never ending pattern of dispensed clothing all over the ground, the bed, the chair... I haven't let it get this bad since college, and it kinda makes me angry for an unknown reason. But I can't seem to find the motivation to clean it. I thought about it when I got home today, then instead, went to the kitchen, cracked open a beer and started watching Top Chef while blogging...

My roommate and I polished off several drinks and several bottles of wine yesterday with friends. I woke up miserably hungover this morning, and yet, all I want to do right now is start drinking again... ughh.... someone please come have hot animal sex with me.

Haha... <sighhh>



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