K and I decided to go out Sunday night to meet up with a few friends in Chinatown for dinner, and I was feeling particularly lazy so I proposed that we take a cab rather than wrestle with the weekend trains.
"It'll be faster." I said convincingly, knowing full well that a taxi would most likely take twice as long with the traffic.
During the ride downtown, I joked about how much I had been eating lately. We had a string of birthdays and anniversaries dinners recently, and as the weather warmed, we had indulged more in sidewalk cafes as of late.
As we arrived at the restaurant, I pulled out my wallet.
"I'll get the cab," I offered. After all, it was my idea to taxi 60+ blocks rather than walk the four blocks to the nearest subway station. "You get dinner?"
"Sure." K chuckled. Then he randomly proceeded to tell me a story about when he was a child and visited his uncle who had a small farm in upstate New York.
"...and I said to him, 'Uncle, your horses are so beautiful!' You know what he told me?"
"What?"
"'They ARE beautiful, but they sure are expensive to feed."
<3
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Resuscitated
I decided to shadow one of the interns on Friday. I have been nervous about starting residency and I figured I should take advantage of the fact that I am already in the system and just spend a day in the life to get over my fear of the unknown.
My day started at 4:30am. A year ago, I'd be falling asleep around then. Now... FML.
But in all my pre-dawn jitters, I woke up fairly easily. I got ready, and left the house.
I saw two inebriated stragglers from the night before on their way to a home with a bed.
I waited patiently for the subway (5:03am is the scheduled stop) which runs few and far between at that hour and doesn't switch to rush hour frequency until 6am.
When I re-emerged above ground, it was still dark out.
None of the vendors had set up shop yet, no newspapers, no bagels, no coffee.
Rounds started at 5:30am. There were 3 pages of patients, and where most hospitals I had worked on before split up the patients, here, the interns were responsible for knowing everything on everyone. Pro: You have everyone watching your back. Con: That's a lot of f-kin information. Then they proceeded to see the patients, place orders and do other floor tasks..
There were only 2 intern-level cases for the day, both minor procedures, and I got to go in one of them. I should have picked the other.... it was a large woman (and by large, she had a BMI of 90... that translates to roughly 500 lbs..) with a peri-anal abscess... I will spare you the details of that hour of my life...
There were consults, there were transfers, there were discharges...
I started getting the hang of it all about 8 hours in... or what should have been a full shift at any other job... but then I realized that it was only lunch time..
The rest of the day was pretty mundane and uneventful (which for surgery is great news... no one wants an 'event' on their shift)... and around 6pm, when we were getting ready to check up on the patients again before signing off to the night team, we got a page...
'28 year old young man in ER with lower GI bleed'
Normally, this is a non-emergent page.. a little bit of BRBPR (bright red blood per rectum), or maybe some dark colored stool.. or maybe he's spitting up some blood from an angry ulcer...
We get down there, and it was like I was in the middle of a trauma. Blood everywhere. The fellow coded and was resuscitated. There were bags and bags and bags of blood being transfused back in... All I could do was watch.
The team quickly assessed the situation, made a few calls, and got the patient into the OR. Within 10 minutes, the drapes were up, the doctors were scrubbed in, and the patient was opened up. Within another 15 minutes, they found the bleeding artery, closed it up and suddenly... the patient stabilized. The beeps on the monitor evened out, his blood pressure rose, his heart beat slowed and the tension in the room lifted.
His wife who was lead away in the ER, eyes red from shock and tears, fearful that she would lose her husband to a tragic twist of fate, would soon get to hear the good news of a second chance.
And as I watched the surgeons close him back up, and listened to their joking banter, and stories of their day, I realized that this was the field that I was meant to be in. All the anxiety and self-doubt that I harbored melted away into certainty. I could tolerate waking up at obscene hours, and spending the majority of my waking hours engaged in mundane activities, knowing that when that critical moment came that required precision, skill and speed... I would one day be able to save a life. And it would make it all worthwhile.
This was their job. This was their life.
This will be my life...
...and it starts in 40 days.
My day started at 4:30am. A year ago, I'd be falling asleep around then. Now... FML.
But in all my pre-dawn jitters, I woke up fairly easily. I got ready, and left the house.
I saw two inebriated stragglers from the night before on their way to a home with a bed.
I waited patiently for the subway (5:03am is the scheduled stop) which runs few and far between at that hour and doesn't switch to rush hour frequency until 6am.
When I re-emerged above ground, it was still dark out.
None of the vendors had set up shop yet, no newspapers, no bagels, no coffee.
Rounds started at 5:30am. There were 3 pages of patients, and where most hospitals I had worked on before split up the patients, here, the interns were responsible for knowing everything on everyone. Pro: You have everyone watching your back. Con: That's a lot of f-kin information. Then they proceeded to see the patients, place orders and do other floor tasks..
There were only 2 intern-level cases for the day, both minor procedures, and I got to go in one of them. I should have picked the other.... it was a large woman (and by large, she had a BMI of 90... that translates to roughly 500 lbs..) with a peri-anal abscess... I will spare you the details of that hour of my life...
There were consults, there were transfers, there were discharges...
I started getting the hang of it all about 8 hours in... or what should have been a full shift at any other job... but then I realized that it was only lunch time..
The rest of the day was pretty mundane and uneventful (which for surgery is great news... no one wants an 'event' on their shift)... and around 6pm, when we were getting ready to check up on the patients again before signing off to the night team, we got a page...
'28 year old young man in ER with lower GI bleed'
Normally, this is a non-emergent page.. a little bit of BRBPR (bright red blood per rectum), or maybe some dark colored stool.. or maybe he's spitting up some blood from an angry ulcer...
We get down there, and it was like I was in the middle of a trauma. Blood everywhere. The fellow coded and was resuscitated. There were bags and bags and bags of blood being transfused back in... All I could do was watch.
The team quickly assessed the situation, made a few calls, and got the patient into the OR. Within 10 minutes, the drapes were up, the doctors were scrubbed in, and the patient was opened up. Within another 15 minutes, they found the bleeding artery, closed it up and suddenly... the patient stabilized. The beeps on the monitor evened out, his blood pressure rose, his heart beat slowed and the tension in the room lifted.
His wife who was lead away in the ER, eyes red from shock and tears, fearful that she would lose her husband to a tragic twist of fate, would soon get to hear the good news of a second chance.
And as I watched the surgeons close him back up, and listened to their joking banter, and stories of their day, I realized that this was the field that I was meant to be in. All the anxiety and self-doubt that I harbored melted away into certainty. I could tolerate waking up at obscene hours, and spending the majority of my waking hours engaged in mundane activities, knowing that when that critical moment came that required precision, skill and speed... I would one day be able to save a life. And it would make it all worthwhile.
This was their job. This was their life.
This will be my life...
...and it starts in 40 days.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
My Best April Fools Day Prank Yet...
This is quite possibly one of my proudest, most ballsy, most elaborate pranks I've ever pulled.
My friends all know that I'm a total prankster at heart, and in true holiday spirit, I had the impulse to April Fool's Prank my boss...
She is pretty high up the food chain as far as hospital attendings go, and generally feared by most of the students, residents, fellow attendings, and housestaff.... she is meticulous and very anal about publication submissions, making sure that each and every word is exactly what she wants it to be...
Sooo... while she is away on vacation with her family in Europe, my co-coordinator and I decide to submit a couple of abstracts to a conference on her behalf... and by that I mean, write up some fictional abstracts for a fictional conference sent by a fictional email address....
The abstracts were written in traditional scientific jargon, so when glanced over, were pretty legit looking, but when actually read, were just painfully ridiculous:
....contamination was ensured by application of 100% New York Central Park dirt...
....statistical analysis was performed by a blinded medical student without no clinical knowledge...
...results suggest that patients are unhappy with urinary flatus......incidence of appendicitis in pregnant females is significantly higher that rates in pregnant non-females...
...we recommend a larger study in patients pregnant with twins to be twice as sure...
Then, around 2pm our time (8pm her time) we submitted them from our fake email account AmJGenSurg@doctor....com and waited....
Sure enough, less than an hour later... she calls from overseas...
The first convo lasted only 5 seconds cause the signal cut out... but the second call immediately thereafter...
I wish I could post the recording, but in the off-chance that she ever finds out I've embarrassed her not just in our department, but on the internet... well.. that probably will not end well for me... so transcribed:
Accomplice: Hi Dr.X.
Dr.X: Yeah, sorry, I keep losing you. I said I can't read it very well. For some reason it gets jumbled. All I read was that we had submitted it and I had been... auth... I have to AUTHORIZE IT. Anyway, what.. what... what IS this?
Dr.X: Yeah, sorry, I keep losing you. I said I can't read it very well. For some reason it gets jumbled. All I read was that we had submitted it and I had been... auth... I have to AUTHORIZE IT. Anyway, what.. what... what IS this?
<pause>
Me: It's an April Fool's prank. Happy April Fool's Day! <giggles>
Dr.X: <stunned> You are... Youuu.... arrreeee...... <searching for the right word> CRAAAZY.
<laughter>Me: It's an April Fool's prank. Happy April Fool's Day! <giggles>
Dr.X: <stunned> You are... Youuu.... arrreeee...... <searching for the right word> CRAAAZY.
Dr.X: You guys have nothing better to do?!?
<more laughter>
Accomplice: We miss you Dr. X!
Dr.X: And.. No wonder you guys sound so happy there, you know...
Dr.X: And.. No wonder you guys sound so happy there, you know...
Accomplice: Cause we were predicting that we would get an international phone call from you.
Me: And we did!
Dr.X: Wait, you were EXPECTING a phone call??? <pause, then chuckling> I hate you both! I'm never coming back. Tell that.. tell that [my last name] that I am gonna put her on vascular surgery for eleven of the twelve months. Tell her now. Tell her now.
Me: And we did!
Dr.X: Wait, you were EXPECTING a phone call??? <pause, then chuckling> I hate you both! I'm never coming back. Tell that.. tell that [my last name] that I am gonna put her on vascular surgery for eleven of the twelve months. Tell her now. Tell her now.
<laughter>
Accomplice: Okay. She heard you, you're on...
Dr.X: CAN YOU HEAR ME [my last name]?!?!?
Accomplice: Okay. She heard you, you're on...
Dr.X: CAN YOU HEAR ME [my last name]?!?!?
Me: I hear you. I love you Dr.X....
Dr.X: <chuckling> I'm putting you on VASCULAR SURGERY for ELEVEN MONTHS!!! Or maybe six months, and six months on my service so that I can TORTURE you.
Accomplice: <giggling>I think you should Dr.X, I think that's a great idea.
Dr.X: <chuckling> I'm putting you on VASCULAR SURGERY for ELEVEN MONTHS!!! Or maybe six months, and six months on my service so that I can TORTURE you.
Accomplice: <giggling>I think you should Dr.X, I think that's a great idea.
Me: Whose side are you on??
Dr.X: She's gonna be on Team IV, she not gonna know WHAT hit her! She thinks she can have her holidays, and you know, PARTIES??? she's just gonna be on Team IV, vascular surgery, Team IV, vascular surgery,Team IV, vascular surgery... <chuckles>
Me: Ohh... we miss you Dr.X Come back.
Dr.X: <laughs> Happy April Fools Day. Bye!
Us: Bye Dr.X!!!
Dr.X: She's gonna be on Team IV, she not gonna know WHAT hit her! She thinks she can have her holidays, and you know, PARTIES??? she's just gonna be on Team IV, vascular surgery, Team IV, vascular surgery,Team IV, vascular surgery... <chuckles>
Me: Ohh... we miss you Dr.X Come back.
Dr.X: <laughs> Happy April Fools Day. Bye!
Us: Bye Dr.X!!!
pwn'd!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Match made in Heaven...
Match day is next week. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is the day that will determine the direction of the rest of a medical student's life.
Monday at noon, eastern standard time, thousands of medical students will get the incredibly impersonal email that will start with either 'Congratulations' or 'We are sorry to inform you...'
I feel fairly confident about which email I will be receiving and I am really looking forward to finally getting back on track. I have busted my ass this past year and I can't wait to finally see it all pay off...
Except...
Now I feel like a dog who's been chasing a car.
... I don't know what to do now that I've caught it.
It's been over a year since I've done anything clinical and my basic science knowledge has slowly been seeping out my skull. I'm planning on studying the month or two before the start date in July and hopefully that will get me a little back up to speed... and I can spend the month of May studying for Step 3 while K studies for his Step 1. I guess you can say that I'm a little nervous. I just don't want anyone to question 'how the fuck did this idiot get an internship here?' And my position is just a preliminary year, so next year, I'm back to the Match again to try and secure a position for the rest of my training. I have my foot in the door to the one of the greatest places in the field, but I'm only guaranteed one year to prove my worth against peers from Ivy League medical schools. Intimidating.
But I'll go on a little tangent here.. I was talking to one of my best friends A the other day about life. He works at another hospital here in the city doing exactly what I do, but gets paid for it as a career. He started medical school and halfway through decided that he didn't want to practice clinical medicine. Let me clarify that he didn't flunk out. He passed the Step 1 of his boards and 6 weeks into clinicals decided to walk away. People will always question his decision, but I can respect that he did what he felt was right. Now as he watches his peers about to finish what he started, we started talking bittersweet.
"Do you even regret leaving medicine?"
"No. I hated what I did then. I love what I do now. It just wasn't for me. But I'm glad I went."
"Why?"
"Because that's where I met my wife."
And that got me thinking.... I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. 10 years ago, I never would have thought I would be a medical school graduate. 5 years ago, I never thought I would make it into the surgical profession. 1 year ago, I never imagined I'd be working where I do. The journey to get to where I am has been an unpredictable one... and I've learned to have no expectations for where I'll be a year from now... but if there's one thing I know and am grateful for, I am definitely meant to be here now. Not only is it a boost of self-confidence, and a reviver of my morale, but maybe... just maybe.. it'll be where I met my future husband.
K is everything I ever wanted.
Third time is the charm....
<3
Monday at noon, eastern standard time, thousands of medical students will get the incredibly impersonal email that will start with either 'Congratulations' or 'We are sorry to inform you...'
I feel fairly confident about which email I will be receiving and I am really looking forward to finally getting back on track. I have busted my ass this past year and I can't wait to finally see it all pay off...
Except...
Now I feel like a dog who's been chasing a car.
... I don't know what to do now that I've caught it.
It's been over a year since I've done anything clinical and my basic science knowledge has slowly been seeping out my skull. I'm planning on studying the month or two before the start date in July and hopefully that will get me a little back up to speed... and I can spend the month of May studying for Step 3 while K studies for his Step 1. I guess you can say that I'm a little nervous. I just don't want anyone to question 'how the fuck did this idiot get an internship here?' And my position is just a preliminary year, so next year, I'm back to the Match again to try and secure a position for the rest of my training. I have my foot in the door to the one of the greatest places in the field, but I'm only guaranteed one year to prove my worth against peers from Ivy League medical schools. Intimidating.
But I'll go on a little tangent here.. I was talking to one of my best friends A the other day about life. He works at another hospital here in the city doing exactly what I do, but gets paid for it as a career. He started medical school and halfway through decided that he didn't want to practice clinical medicine. Let me clarify that he didn't flunk out. He passed the Step 1 of his boards and 6 weeks into clinicals decided to walk away. People will always question his decision, but I can respect that he did what he felt was right. Now as he watches his peers about to finish what he started, we started talking bittersweet.
"Do you even regret leaving medicine?"
"No. I hated what I did then. I love what I do now. It just wasn't for me. But I'm glad I went."
"Why?"
"Because that's where I met my wife."
And that got me thinking.... I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. 10 years ago, I never would have thought I would be a medical school graduate. 5 years ago, I never thought I would make it into the surgical profession. 1 year ago, I never imagined I'd be working where I do. The journey to get to where I am has been an unpredictable one... and I've learned to have no expectations for where I'll be a year from now... but if there's one thing I know and am grateful for, I am definitely meant to be here now. Not only is it a boost of self-confidence, and a reviver of my morale, but maybe... just maybe.. it'll be where I met my future husband.
K is everything I ever wanted.
Third time is the charm....
<3
Sunday, March 6, 2011
How Asian Fathers Should NOT Talk...
I told my parents that I was heading up to Connecticut for the weekend to visit a girlfriend at Yale.
My dad: "Yeah, have fun drinking with the brainy chicks."
Me: "Chicks, dad? Really?"
My dad: "Yeah, have fun drinking with the brainy chicks."
Me: "Chicks, dad? Really?"
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