My Best April Fools Day Prank Yet...

This is quite possibly one of my proudest, most ballsy, most elaborate pranks I've ever pulled.

My friends all know that I'm a total prankster at heart, and in true holiday spirit, I had the impulse to April Fool's Prank my boss... 

 

She is pretty high up the food chain as far as hospital attendings go, and generally feared by most of the students, residents, fellow attendings, and housestaff.... she is meticulous and very anal about publication submissions, making sure that each and every word is exactly what she wants it to be...

 

Sooo... while she is away on vacation with her family in Europe, my co-coordinator and I decide to submit a couple of abstracts to a conference on her behalf... and by that I mean, write up some fictional abstracts for a fictional conference sent by a fictional email address....

 

The abstracts were written in traditional scientific jargon, so when glanced over, were pretty legit looking, but when actually read, were just painfully ridiculous:

 

 ....contamination was ensured by application of 100% New York Central Park dirt...

 ....statistical analysis was performed by a blinded medical student without no clinical knowledge...

...results suggest that patients are unhappy with urinary flatus...
 ...incidence of appendicitis in pregnant females is significantly higher that rates in pregnant non-females...
...we recommend a larger study in patients pregnant with twins to be twice as sure...

 

Then, around 2pm our time (8pm her time) we submitted them from our fake email account AmJGenSurg@doctor....com and waited....

 

Sure enough, less than an hour later... she calls from overseas...

The first convo lasted only 5 seconds cause the signal cut out... but the second call immediately thereafter...

 

I wish I could post the recording, but in the off-chance that she ever finds out I've embarrassed her not just in our department, but on the internet... well.. that probably will not end well for me... so transcribed:

Accomplice: Hi Dr.X.
Dr.X: Yeah, sorry, I keep losing you. I said I can't read it very well. For some reason it gets jumbled. All I read was that we had submitted it and I had been... auth... I have to AUTHORIZE IT. Anyway, what.. what... what IS this?

<pause>
Me: It's an April Fool's prank. Happy April Fool's Day! <giggles>
Dr.X: <stunned> You are... Youuu.... arrreeee...... <searching for the right word> CRAAAZY.

<laughter>

Dr.X: You guys have nothing better to do?!? 

<more laughter>

Accomplice: We miss you Dr. X!
Dr.X: And.. No wonder you guys sound so happy there, you know...

Accomplice: Cause we were predicting that we would get an international phone call from you.
Me: And we did!
Dr.X: Wait, you were EXPECTING a phone call??? <pause, then chuckling> I hate you both! I'm never coming back. Tell that.. tell that [my last name] that I am gonna put her on vascular surgery for eleven of the twelve months. Tell her now. Tell her now.

<laughter>
Accomplice: Okay. She heard you, you're on...
Dr.X: CAN YOU HEAR ME [my last name]?!?!?

Me: I hear you. I love you Dr.X....
Dr.X: <chuckling> I'm putting you on VASCULAR SURGERY for ELEVEN MONTHS!!! Or maybe six months, and six months on my service so that I can TORTURE you.
Accomplice: <giggling>I think you should Dr.X, I think that's a great idea.

Me: Whose side are you on??
Dr.X: She's gonna be on Team IV, she not gonna know WHAT hit her! She thinks she can have her holidays, and you know, PARTIES??? she's just gonna be on Team IV, vascular surgery, Team IV, vascular surgery,Team IV, vascular surgery... <chuckles>
Me: Ohh... we miss you Dr.X Come back.
Dr.X: <laughs> Happy April Fools Day. Bye!
Us: Bye Dr.X!!!

 

pwn'd!